The other day, at a fenced, off-leash dog park, I watched as the dogs interacted with each other and with the people who had brought them.
Dogs of all sizes were running and playing, and some of the people with them were throwing balls or sticks for their dogs to chase and fetch.
It was a happy place and the dogs seemed to be enjoying themselves.
The park was remarkably quiet and calm, except for one small dog who stayed close to its owners.
This dog, the smallest in the park, was barking at the other people and other dogs.
It wasn’t making friends with the other dogs and it didn’t want to have a lot of interaction from people it didn’t know.
After a while, when this dog and its owners left, the park was relatively quiet once more.
The remaining dogs, including one considerably smaller than most of the others, continued playing together and enjoying their time outside.
For many dogs, a fenced-off-leash park is a happy and safe space where they can enjoy the freedom to run and play.
However, not every dog does well in this setting. Some are not good with other dogs and some do not like to be around unfamiliar people. Some are intimidated by much larger dogs.
As with people, some dogs are outgoing and some are shy.
Later that day, I kept thinking about the small dog who had been barking. This dog, positioned close to its owners, was uncomfortable in an off-leash park. The barking seemed to be a coping mechanism.
As I thought about the dog, my thoughts also turned to some people I have met.
Some pride themselves on tough talk and aggressive behaviour. Some may use terms such as “Alpha Male” or “Mama Bear” or “Beast” to describe themselves as they talk about how they will use any means necessary – violence included – to defend themselves, their family or their country.
Others will try to stand out by boasting about how courageous, successful, generous or powerful they are. And some will honk the horn at anyone they do not like on the roads. I’m wondering if these behaviours have something in common with the small dog who was barking at the park.
Perhaps a loud or aggressive tone is a way to compensate for a sense of insecurity or social anxiety.
There are counsellors available to help those who have social anxiety, anger issues or other challenges interacting with others.
There are also support groups, including a 12-step organization called Emotions Anonymous which has existed for more than 50 years for those facing emotional difficulties.
The question is whether a tough-talking person will make the effort to use these resources in an effort to learn to ease up on the aggressive attitude, or whether they will instead choose to continue with the bravado.
John Arendt is the editor of the Summerland Review.