Pallbearers load the casket of Devan Bracci-Selvey at Stoney Creek United Church in Hamilton, Ont., Saturday, October 12, 2019. Bracci-Selvey died in hospital on October 7 after he was fatally stabbed behind Sir Winston Churchill Secondary School. An 18-year-old man and a 14-year-old boy have been charged with first-degree murder in his death. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Tara Walton

‘My heart goes out to the mother’: B.C. dad reacts to stabbing death of Ontario boy

Carson Crimeni, who was also 14, was bullied relentlessly, his dad says

Hearing about the stabbing death of a 14-year-old boy outside a school in Hamilton has Darrel Crimeni grappling with questions of bullying and a lack of empathy that may also have played a role when his grandson’s overdose was filmed and posted on social media.

Crimeni said Carson Crimeni, who was also 14, was bullied relentlessly. On the day he died in August, Carson’s family believes he overdosed after he was given drugs by others who wanted to share his reaction at a skate park in Langley on the internet.

Now, Crimeni is thinking of Devan Bracci-Selvey’s family in Hamilton, knowing they too are struggling to understand their loss, allegedly at the hands of a student who stabbed the boy in front of his mother outside of their school.

“My heart goes out to the mother,” Crimeni said.

A girl who saw a meme of his grandson in distress on Snapchat told her mother and was instructed to call police, but by the time officers arrived the crowd had dispersed, Crimeni said, adding he found Carson half a kilometre away at a sports park in Langley about two hours later. He was pronounced dead in hospital.

Crimeni said students like his grandson, who had learning challenges, feel particularly unsafe at school because of bullies who are often known to administrators but face little or no consequences.

READ MORE: Fundraiser launched for family of teen found dead at skateboard park

“They’ve got to pay more attention to bullying, they really do. They have Pink Shirt Day every February and it doesn’t seem to be doing much,” he said of the annual event aimed at drawing attention to bullying.

In Bracci-Selvey’s case, first-degree murder charges have been laid against an 18-year-old man and a 14-year-old boy. But no one has been charged in Crimeni’s death as police continue to investigate.

Shari-Ann Bracci-Selvey has blamed the system for failing to protect her son from “bullies” who she said made his first month of school a nightmare, saying everyone — from the school he attended to his own family — let him down.

Shelley Morse, president of the Canadian Teachers’ Federation, said she was shocked at the level of violence after she returned to the classroom following four years at the helm of the Nova Scotia Teachers’ Union.

“We had students beating other students up. The playground was not a fun place. We had students whose anxiety was so high they wouldn’t come to school because of fear of the violence that was at our school,” said Morse, who retired in June after 35 years in teaching.

“If I was a parent, I’d be alarmed at what my child may be witnessing at school,” she said. “And it’s not just here, it’s all across Canada.”

Morse said school violence will only increase as children using social media learn early on to hide behind a screen while watching negative behaviour and joining in with others who may be posting similar content.

Bullies have the upper hand when school boards don’t back administrators if parents use an appeal process to object to consequences such as suspensions, she said, adding education ministries and departments are also not providing schools with enough tools to try and curb violence.

Morse said the violence she saw when she returned to teaching had her persuading the principal to work with her to adopt a philosophy that made a huge difference.

The hallmarks of the Positive Effective Behaviour Supports philosophy, which Morse believes was first used in the United States, involve teaching students empathy, compassion and responsibility.

“We went from having 20 kids sitting in the office waiting for someone to talk to them to, in 15 weeks, down to one or two students and some days none. And that has carried through because we taught the kids how to be kind, we taught them there would be consequences for being unkind, for being disrespectful. New students, all they knew was a culture of respect and kindness.”

As part of the approach, students were rewarded with a blue ticket for good behaviour, which could include reporting potentially dangerous situations against their peers as part of the “be an upstander, not a bystander” motto they learned.

“They would put the tickets into a draw and once a week we would make a draw for a pizza party and you got to have a pizza party and invite seven of your friends and go to a separate room to eat,” Morse said, adding prizes included movie tickets, with donations from community organizations.

“It was amazing to watch the transformation in that school and even the parents coming to us and saying, ‘I can’t believe how great it is. My child, who has anxiety, now wants to be in school.’”

READ MORE: How to talk to kids about B.C.’s overdose crisis

The Department of Education and Early Childhood Development in Nova Scotia said the Positive Effective Behaviour Supports philosophy is used in some schools, but various regions use strategies that “best serve the needs of their local students and classrooms.”

Morse said parents concerned about violence need to step up if schools aren’t providing violence-prevention strategies.

“It’s time for parents to demand action.”

Camille Bains, The Canadian Press

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Just Posted

Malakwa woman still in the running for winning American baking show

Janet Letendre is the only Canadian competing on the Holiday Baking Championship

Revelstoke City Council approves Temporary Use Permits

Councillors Cody Younker and Steven Cross voted against the ammendments

Cloudy in Revelstoke today

High four degrees

Chasing a Trace wolverine movie showing in Revelstoke Nov. 28

Learn more about the regional project Wolverine Watch

VIDEO: Kelowna brew pub opens new tasting room

Dan Taylor takes a tour of BNA’s renovated tasting room

Seguin lifts surging Stars to 4-2 win over Canucks

Dallas is 6-0-1 in last seven outings

B.C. government working with RCMP to address $10 million in budget cuts

Public Safety Minister Mike Farnworth issues statement following report of RCMP cost-cutting

‘City that protects rapists’: Sexual assault survivor slams Kelowna mayor for defending RCMP

Heather Friesen spent the morning handing out flyers around city hall calling out the mayor

BC Liquor Stores to move fully to paper bags by March

Vancouver Island to be the first to convert to paper bags in November

New Okanagan resident building skills and community

The Respect Works Here November Multicultural Community Champion

Business savy volunteers sought in North Okanagan

Community Futures looking for members to join advisory panel, board and loans committee

SilverStar to open Nordic trails Saturday in North Okanagan

25 km of groomed trails are ready to explore by cross-country skiers

Salmon Arm businesses tipped off to Black Press advantage

Black Press Media hosts day of presentations for local business representatives

Most Read