A buffet of chicken fried steak, eggs and ice tea in Montana, U.S. (Liam Harrap/Revelstoke Review)

Dear Buffets, You are needed in Revelstoke

Please come soon, lots of love, your biggest fan

Our newspaper always prints what Revelstokians think Revelstoke needs. While those suggestions such as climbing gyms, splash parks and DQ are all great, there’s one that is never mentioned—buffets.

Buffets have always been a guilty pleasure of mine. I take them very seriously. First, there’s the preparation. The secret to eating a lot is getting the stomach to stretch. And to get that, you need to eat.

The professionals eat pounds and pounds of lettuce, food that does little else then take up space. So, if you really want to get your money’s worth, be stomach ready.

Second, there’s maximizing space during the eat. Little tricks include eating the food while it’s still warm and standing up to wiggle the stomach.

If it doesn’t immediately cause you to throw up, shaking from side to side compacts and settles food in the belly. Allowing you to finish that shrimp ring.

Sometimes when a buffet isn’t available, you make you’re own. Meet the burger made with donuts. (Liam Harrap/Revestoke Review)

Growing up, my family was the table in the back with Tupperware. When the servers weren’t looking, cheesecake and prime rib were “stealthily” sealed away under the table and sushi went into our pockets. Luckily we were never asked to leave. At least, so far.

Most people have a good story when it comes to buffets.

One time I met a long distance hiker, who went to a Pizza Hut buffet. After eating 28 pieces of pizza, they asked him to leave. They were running out of pizza.

An outdoorsy town needs a buffet. I know the Hong Kong Restaurant has one, but its hours and food choices are limiting.

Whenever I’m groveling up some mountain, my mind always wonders to times of plentiful food. Buffets I never tried or fully took advantage of. I still regret not eating more at my sister’s wedding and that was roughly 20 years ago. Inevitably, I think of the buffets that have stolen my heart

Las Vegas is not for me, but it has the buffet of my dreams.

The Bacchanal Buffet at Caesars Palace is the best buffet. Period. When I’m sad, I watch videos of it on Youtube.

It’s been voted the best in the city by USA Today, more than once.

These are just some of the items — cinnamon churros, chocolate champurrado, truffled egg cocotte, bananas foster donuts, watermelon juice, tempura shrimp udon, tonkotsu ramen, maple-glazed sweet potato tots and egg sardou with lobster bearnaise, smoked salmon, mussels, creole shrimp ’n’ grits, tuna poke and, of course, crab legs galore.

That list doesn’t even include dessert. It was there I had macarons for the first time.

If heaven has a taste, it’s a sweet meringue based confection made with almonds and filled with ganache.

The dessert table at Bacchanal is huge, but bite sized. If I’m not at work tomorrow, it’s because I’ve taken a plane to Las Vegas-I-mean-I’m-ill-cough-cough-sniffle. (Submitted)

According to news articles about Bacchanal, it serves 4,000 people per day. That’s roughly half the size of Revelstoke.

Although I love buffets, they do have an off putting vibe. It’s hard to escape the feeling that you’re cows at the trough, getting fat for slaughter.

However, maybe because Bacchanal serves most dishes on small plates, it doesn’t have that atmosphere. It had the grace and style of a restaurant with a set menu.

Of course, after eating, you still felt like an explosion was inevitable.

Now, I know Revelstoke could never support a buffet like Bacchanal. We do have the pubs, bakeries, cafes, fast food and upscale restaurants.

But, like I said earlier, an outdoorsy city needs a good buffet. Something to dream about when you’re bushwhacking through alders, driven mad by mosquitoes and have devil club thorns in your underwear.

We all need something to hold onto.


 

@pointypeak701
liam.harrap@revelstokereview.com

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Sometimes when a buffet isn’t available, you make you’re own. Meet the burger made with donuts. (Liam Harrap/Revestoke Review)

The dessert table at Bacchanal is huge, but bite sized. If I’m not at work tomorrow, it’s because I’ve taken a plane to Las Vegas-I-mean-I’m-ill-cough-cough-sniffle. (Submitted)

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