Jocelyn’s Jottings: Looking back on a year of growth

It’s the time of year where I always take some time to look back and reflect on what has changed.

This time last year one of my best friends had her first baby. We worked together so I saw her every day throughout her pregnancy and got to go to the hospital to hold her new baby just a day after she was born.

Last weekend they celebrated her first birthday and she finally got to eat some cake (no sugar till the first birthday). Unfortunately I could only be there in spirit and see the photos afterwards on Facebook.

Babies are the perfect visual example of how much things can change in a year.

But as an adult and especially in the job that I do, time has a strange way of getting all jumbled up. If you asked me what I wrote for the paper two weeks ago I wouldn’t remember. I can remember what I work on, but long term, I can’t remember when I wrote it.

Working at a newspaper is like working on that giant class project. But you only have a week to finish it and it starts over again the following week. Time is therefore a little bit skewed sometimes, which is why I think it is important to take a minute and reflect.

In January of last year I started working with a life coach and I was regularly seeing a counsellor. I have come a long way from the mess I was then thanks to their help.

My world turned upside down in April when I was offered a job I hadn’t applied for in a town I had never visited. Looking back I am grateful for all of the stress that making that decision and preparing for that move caused.

It was exciting! It was an adventure! And I don’t have enough of those these days.

And then came the ups and downs of moving to a new place.

It has been both exciting and thrilling one day and then the next day it can be devastating and lonely.

I moved closer to home, in theory, but it is much more difficult to travel from Revelstoke to Fairview than it was from Campbell River to Fairview.

I moved to a better job, in theory, but I took on more responsibility and stress. And with that comes some anxiety.

On good days I can take a step back and look at it all with a ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ attitude and on bad days I muddle through, leaning on my friends and family and knowing that it will get better.

This year was a year of battling with body image issues. Those insecurities made it much more difficult to make new friends.

This was a year of recovering from a psychologically abusive relationship that had me doubting my abilities and second guessing my decisions.

But this was also a year of making new friends and getting destroyed at board games.

It was a year of puppy cuddles, even if I still don’t have my own puppy.

It was a year of new, trying relationships and learning when to argue and when to sit back and listen.

It was a year of learning to make the best of a tiny living situation. Of learning to make any place I find myself in home, even if it takes a little bit of extra love.

It was a year of swimming and dancing and many other activities that I love.

It was a year or learning to appreciate my value in my job, as a daughter, sister and a friend.

It was a year of learning to say, out loud, how I feel and recognizing how I make others feel.

At the end of the day while it was a year of physical growth for my adorable niece, it was a year of trying times and emotional growth for me.

I suppose I always hope to grow and learn in my life. But can I put a request in for next year? A little less on the loneliness and a little more on the belly laughs?

I’ll talk about that more next time.

Happy holidays everyone!

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