Jocelyn’s Jottings: Making decisions

How do you make big decisions?

I fret.

At first I ignore my immediate gut reaction and try to talk myself out of changing.

I look at all of the bad things that could happen.

I make pro/con lists. I look over those lists and think about where those items come from.

Are they things I want or things society or my family or my friends have told be I should want?

When that doesn’t get me anywhere I try to think big picture.

How will this decision affect my life overall? How will it affect my career? What do I actually want?

This is the point where I either cry, get a drink or go for a walk because I realize that I don’t know what I want and I don’t really have any concrete goals or plans for my future.

In my final semester of university, I had a small breakdown because I was fretting about the future.

Before January 2015, I hadn’t thought about what I wanted after university.

My high school daydreams didn’t extend that far and suddenly I had to move and find a job, I had to start making a life for myself.

And for the first time I didn’t know what I wanted.

I had only applied for one program at one university after high school. I knew what I wanted.

Four years later and I had no idea.

Four years since then and I still don’t have a plan.

But am I directionless? Most of the previous decisions I have made have been looking for growth and saying yes to opportunities.

Growth is a good direction to go.

Maybe I don’t have an ‘in five years I will be here’ picture in my head, but I know I want to continue challenging myself, I want to grow and play and travel and laugh.

I want to write. I want to meet people. I want to volunteer and be a part of something bigger.

So it turns out I don’t have a plan, but I have direction.

Where does that leave me? It means no matter what I decide it will be the right decision. Which makes deciding both less and more stressful.

My dad once had the opportunity to go work abroad but chose to go back to his hometown and farm.

Had he chosen to leave he probably wouldn’t have met my mom and I wouldn’t be here.

I can remember talking with him about it and him wishing he could have lived a little bit of that life, just to see what it would have been like and then gone back in time and continued living this life.

“That’s a good idea for a book,” he said at the time.

It is. But I don’t wish for that in real life.

It’s hard enough choosing between two things that you think will be good, let alone if you actually knew how everything would turn out.

Plus, it would take a long time to make any progress.

Not that me fretting about decisions is efficient…

Any advice? How do you make potentially life changing decisions? Let me know at

Just Posted

Photos: Railway Days at Revelstoke Railway Museum 2019

Today was Railway Days at the Revelstoke Railway Museum. There was food,… Continue reading

City launched Tech Strategy 2.0

Revelstoke received $100,000 in funding to build on its Technology Strategy project

QUIZ: How much do you remember about Woodstock?

Weekend music festival in Bethel, New York, was held 50 years ago

Canada ‘disappointed’ terror suspect’s British citizenship revoked

Jack Letts, who was dubbed “Jihadi Jack” by the U.K. media, has been detained in a Kurdish prison for about two years

Fire departments extinguish suspicious wildfire near West Kelowna

Crews established a fire guard and knocked down the blaze before it grew to one hectare.

Chrystia Freeland condemns violence in Hong Kong, backs right to peaceful assembly

There have been months of protests in the semi-autonomous region

B.C. VIEWS: Log exports and my other errors so far in 2019

Plastic bags, legislature overspending turn out differently

15-year-old boy drowns after midnight jump into Okangan Lake

The RCMP and BC Coroners Service are investigating the drowning.

‘It’s just the freedom:’ Paralyzed Broncos player pursuing life on the water

The former Humboldt Broncos goaltender, who started in the net when he was nine, was paralyzed last year

Summerland cannabis shop receives approval in principle

Inspection now required before Green Gaia may sell cannabis

Canadians killed in Afghanistan honoured during emotional dedication ceremony

One-hundred-fifty-eight Canadian soldiers died during the mission

Most Read