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Revy Let’s Talk…About those awful noises

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Stacie Byrne

CYMHSU Project Lead

“Nails on a chalk board, clicking together of finger nails, the pop of a bubble from bubble gum – no, it’s more the chewing of the gum before the bubble is formed! These are just some of the sounds that make me cringe.”

We all know that different people can react differently to the same situation, but what if you yourself react differently to the same situations, but can’t understand why?

“I know things that sometimes trigger me – people eating food loudly, clearing of throats, sucking on fingers loudly after eating. If someone leans in to read something over my shoulder, but they’re cleaning something out of their teeth like they need a glass of water! That one just makes me want to hurl!”

When asked why or if it’s always like this, Amy (named changed) can’t be sure.

“It comes and goes, I think. But once it comes, there’s nothing I can do to feel better about it… and then I feel irritated with myself for feeling this way, and then if I tell the other person how gross they’re being I feel guilty for lashing out at them because I know this is my problem not theirs and then I feel more annoyed and it starts all over again.”

And the scenarios continue as she describes how what might be a subtle noise to someone else can set her off and mess with her emotions.

“It’s at these moments when I call myself all kinds of terrible names. I’m a jerk, I should back off, I need to relax, I’m being irrational, I need a drink, What’s my problem anyways? It’s not like I’m perfect. I’m sure I have tons of annoying features that people can’t stand!

“But even after all of this, those same thoughts come back when someone is making noises around me that trigger me…. And I have no idea why, or how to stop them, or how to warn the person who’s hanging around me that I could react like this without sounding crazy. These may not seem like big problems compared to some of the other stories that you write about Stacie, but these are the big problems for me that keep me up at night. When others tell me ‘be grateful for what you have’ or ‘look around you, life’s not that bad’ or even mock me by saying ‘ya, first world problems’. I’m sorry if my problems aren’t good enough to mean anything to you… So, I silence myself again, feel even more alone and scared, and try to ignore what’s going on inside my head. If people would just tell me I’m not crazy, or that it’s going to be ok, it would help me relax and I probably wouldn’t be triggered so much”.

The more Amy tells me, the more I see how she is looking for acceptance, support and love from those around her even with her ‘unique qualities’ as she puts it.

We all experience the world in a different way. We all may experience our same world differently depending on our mood, the weather, what’s happening in our home lives or at work. Hopefully as we learn to accept and even begin to love that about ourselves we can accept others for their own ‘uniqueness’.

If you have a story to share or feedback for the people in these stories, contact Stacie at revelstokecymhsu@gmail.com.

Wednesday, January 30th is Bell Let’s Talk Day. We will also be offering a pop-up station to complete your choice of mental health and substance use screens and a clinician to debrief your results with you. Visit our website to find out more www.revelstokecymhsu.ca.

Stacie Byrne is the Project Lead for the Child and Youth Mental Health and Substance Use (CYMHSU) Local Action Team, which is a part of a larger Provincial Collaborative working together to support people between the ages of 6-24 years old and their families with mental health and substance use challenges. The Collaborative works with Service Providers and the community to share how all of the pieces of the recovery puzzle fit together and what is available within and outside of Revelstoke.