It’s that time of year again. New year’s resolutions. How can we do this in a way that positions us better for success? How do we follow through instead of letting our will and vision fade out after a couple of weeks?
I believe HOW we set goals is more important than what goals we set. We need to set intentions that are reachable, and this is more easily achieved by considering how you want to feel rather than moving towards goals that leave you feeling empty because they are rooted in the wrong source. Have you ever set an intention like “lose weight”? And then failed miserably because you hate going to the gym but still assigned yourself five gym workouts a week to meet your goal? If reaching your goals requires you to become a different person (one who suddenly, spontaneously likes the gym, for example), chances are you’re not going to get far in the process.
Intentions are reachable when they inspire us, like being of service to others or filling our minds with inspired readings and people who keep us on track. Sitting on a stationary bike to burn 500 calories is not inspiring and can be lonely and boring unless you can source the energy for your workout from a deeper, more useful place, like knowing your good health will keep you around longer with more energy for your children or allow you to move with ease on a volunteer building project next summer.
Instead of thinking about what you want, start thinking about how you want to feel. The difference is that when you decide how you want to feel, you can move more intuitively towards that goal because you understand the objective on a visceral level, and the quality of that new feeling experience is amazing in the body. It feels lighter and enjoyable. It motivates.
If you want to feel healthy and connected to your community, join a group of like-minded individuals and get fit together. You can also solicit your friends and choose to support each other by setting days and times each week you will meet up for yoga, the gym, swimming, etc.
If you want to attract something new – a relationship, a career – consider exactly how you want to feel. When you are able to get clear about this, then you can spend time imagining what being in a relationship with someone who has those qualities feels like instead of being fearful of finding someone who will bring in the same issues as you’ve experienced in past relationships. When you focus on what you don’t want, you end up following the path of what you don’t want instead of focusing on what you do want.
To create successful intentions, you must think about how you want to feel, find ways to get connected with your community, and keep company with people who support you.
Noelle Bovon is the owner of Balu Yoga & Wellness and a life and business coach.