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Reel Reviews: Floundering inferno

We quote Charlie Brown: “Good grief!”
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You won’t believe a Rock can fly in Skyscraper. (Legendary Pictures image)

Will Sawyer (Dwayne Johnson) is a family man, a former soldier and FBI agent, who heads up his own security firm. He and his family are living on assignment in Hong Kong, in the largest, safest building in the world. When the building is set afire and then allowed to burn, Sawyer becomes embroiled in a conspiracy that threatens his life and those of his family.

We quote Charlie Brown: “Good grief!”

TAYLOR: They are really just pounding these out now. This film cost an estimated 125 million dollars. It’s mostly spent on armies of computer techs putting Johnson through his paces in a green room turned burning building. I guess the formula has been working, what with all the disaster movies where the Rock saves his family. Let’s not forget that his character has to have all the heroes’ hallmarks, in addition to being nearly superhuman. In Skyscraper all everyone has to do is not die, the reason the fire is burning is almost inconsequential. In the end, the thing that extinguishes our peril is simply allowing the automated fire control to work. So it’s an action movie that takes place in a green room whereby they build monkey bars from which the Rock may swing. It’s a 125 million dollar monkey bar movie.

HOWE: This really is a disaster of a disaster movie. Skyscraper has to be in my top three worst movies since we began reviewing, now nearly 5 years. I would even go as far as saying this might make my top three worst movies I have ever seen. We have seen some gnarly poop in our time but this really does take the biscuit. The acting is awful, the plot worse and to top it all off the film company slaps us across the face with a wet fish and charges more, because they made it in 3D. Who is to blame for the movie companies giving us this sort of trash?

TAYLOR: I wouldn’t have blamed the Rock, (sorry, he’s just always going to be the Rock) for cashing in, but it turns out that he helped produce this film. So he is at least culpable for Skyscraper. On paper. perhaps the film had some redeeming qualities. In reality I can find none.

HOWE: I am sorry but I can’t waste my time or energy on this waste of good sitting. If you see this movie after reading this, all I can say is shame on you.

Howe gives Skyscraper 0, if I could score it lower I would out of 5.

Taylor gives it 0 out of 5.

— Brian Taylor and Peter Howe are film reviewers based in Vernon.


@VernonNews
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