An open letter to the father who bruised his baby

Reader responds to story about man who was jailed for beating his infant son.

Re: Man gets two years in jail for beating baby, from the Jan. 16. 2013 issue of the Times Review:

I was horrified when I read the details of what you did to your son. What were you thinking? It made me sick!

Now you say you want to have a relationship with your son later in life. Well, sorry buddy, but your right to have anything to do with your son ended about the first time you bruised him, or put the weight of your adult body on him and fracturing his tiny little bones. Perhaps maybe you should have looked into his small scared little eyes the first time you almost squeezed the life out of him and fractured his tiny ribs.

Myself, being a mother, who gave birth three times and raised all three without bruising them, I am going to give you some advice from your son. If he could speak to you right now, he would say to you:

1. Daddy, I did not ask to be brought into this world.

2. Daddy, I loved you from the very moment I was born. I did not know anything else. I was helpless.

3. Daddy, all asked for was to be fed, clothed, kept warm and comfortable, and comforted even when I was having a bad day.

4. You are my father. Daddy, you should realize that this is a privilege, NOT a right.

5. Every day millions of people can raise their children without bruising them or breaking bones.

6. Daddy, by being in jail you are going to miss out on the most important milestones of my life. My first smile, my first attempt at rolling over, my first real food, my first “coo” (which is my way of telling you how much I love you), my first tooth, my first big-boy clothes, my first steps, my first hair cut. Because of your actions Daddy, I cannot show you these things.

Daddy, I did nothing to put you in jail. Your own actions took you away from me and put you there. I have no regrets other than allowing you to act as my “loving” guardian for the few first months of my life. I tried to bring you joy, but I suppose I failed. I had no way of asking you what I was doing wrong but I paid the price of losing my father.

It’s too bad Daddy, but I have been forced to live a life without you in it, but from my early recollections with you that can’t be a bad thing. Things are a lot smoother now, and I have learned from your mistakes. I will no longer require anything from you. Enjoy your life Daddy. It’s your own doing.

Pat Dillman,

Revelstoke

P.S. I personally had three major events happen in my life last year. I am thrilled to have become grandmother to two of the most adorable little boys on earth and then I lost my own father. But there were never any bruises involved.

 

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