An open letter to the father who bruised his baby

Reader responds to story about man who was jailed for beating his infant son.

Re: Man gets two years in jail for beating baby, from the Jan. 16. 2013 issue of the Times Review:

I was horrified when I read the details of what you did to your son. What were you thinking? It made me sick!

Now you say you want to have a relationship with your son later in life. Well, sorry buddy, but your right to have anything to do with your son ended about the first time you bruised him, or put the weight of your adult body on him and fracturing his tiny little bones. Perhaps maybe you should have looked into his small scared little eyes the first time you almost squeezed the life out of him and fractured his tiny ribs.

Myself, being a mother, who gave birth three times and raised all three without bruising them, I am going to give you some advice from your son. If he could speak to you right now, he would say to you:

1. Daddy, I did not ask to be brought into this world.

2. Daddy, I loved you from the very moment I was born. I did not know anything else. I was helpless.

3. Daddy, all asked for was to be fed, clothed, kept warm and comfortable, and comforted even when I was having a bad day.

4. You are my father. Daddy, you should realize that this is a privilege, NOT a right.

5. Every day millions of people can raise their children without bruising them or breaking bones.

6. Daddy, by being in jail you are going to miss out on the most important milestones of my life. My first smile, my first attempt at rolling over, my first real food, my first “coo” (which is my way of telling you how much I love you), my first tooth, my first big-boy clothes, my first steps, my first hair cut. Because of your actions Daddy, I cannot show you these things.

Daddy, I did nothing to put you in jail. Your own actions took you away from me and put you there. I have no regrets other than allowing you to act as my “loving” guardian for the few first months of my life. I tried to bring you joy, but I suppose I failed. I had no way of asking you what I was doing wrong but I paid the price of losing my father.

It’s too bad Daddy, but I have been forced to live a life without you in it, but from my early recollections with you that can’t be a bad thing. Things are a lot smoother now, and I have learned from your mistakes. I will no longer require anything from you. Enjoy your life Daddy. It’s your own doing.

Pat Dillman,

Revelstoke

P.S. I personally had three major events happen in my life last year. I am thrilled to have become grandmother to two of the most adorable little boys on earth and then I lost my own father. But there were never any bruises involved.

 

Just Posted

Avalanche control scheduled tomorrow on Highway 1 east of Revelstoke

Avalanche control work is scheduled along Highway 1 on Dec 15. From… Continue reading

Highlights from recent school board meeting in Revelstoke

Soon-to-arrive Syrian family, budget update, and upcoming silent action were discussed

Okanagan College unlocks time capsule

Items placed in 1993 and kept in capsule in library opened at special ceremony

Special Public Avalanche Warning for Most Mountainous Regions of BC

Avalanche Canada is issuing a Special Public Avalanche Warning for recreational backcountry… Continue reading

Revelstoke developer frustrated with permit delays

Phase 2-3 of Mackenzie Village has been with city staff for 18 months

VIDEO: Royals reveal the images on their Christmas cards

Prince William and his wife Kate are shown outside in casual clothes, their three young children in tow

ICBC to apply for 6.3% hike to basic insurance rates

Crown Corporation said it will be submitting its next basic rate application to the British Columbia Utilities Commission Friday

Media, robotics, Indigenous studies coming to B.C. Grade 12 classrooms in 2019-20

Provincial tests are also being changed for students in Grade 10 to 12, the Education Ministry said

Stranded B.C. trucker writes final wishes before being rescued 3 days later

‘I was just praying someone would come along’

Canfor Corp. extending temporary curtailment of sawmills in B.C.; cutting hours

Vancouver-based company says the decision is due to declining lumber prices, high log costs and log supply constraints

Canada’s prospective world junior team members await final roster decisions

Thirty-four players were invited to the national junior selection camp

Family searching for B.C. professor last seen at Colombian salsa club

Ramazan Gencay, a professor in economics at Simon Fraser University, was last seen in Medellin

Final phase of Kelowna hospital cardiac centre completed

Finishing new recovery rooms last stage of $381 million project

Rash of bomb threats a learning opportunity for response capacity, Goodale

Thursday’s wave of bomb threats swept across communities on both sides of the Canada-U.S. border

Most Read